It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs by Rodney Dangerfield

Author:Rodney Dangerfield [Dangerfield, Rodney]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Adult, Humor, Topic
ISBN: 9780060779245
Google: W2hHyD0oOWYC
Amazon: 0060779241
Publisher: It Books
Published: 2005-03-01T08:00:00+00:00

* * *

I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

* * *

Chapter Nine

Can I Have Your Autograph…and More Butter?

Same thing with my wife, no respect. I took her to a drive-in movie. I spent the whole night trying to find out what car she was in.

People often ask me how I came up with my “no respect” line. When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt—for obvious reasons—that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was “nothing goes right.” Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes.

It worked pretty well, but a few years later, the book The Godfather came out and it was a bestseller and then the movie came out, which was even bigger. Because of The Godfather, suddenly all anybody would talk about was “respect.” You’ve gotta show me some respect…If she’s with me, you show her respect…It’s all about respect…”

I realized that fit pretty well with the image I was now working with onstage, so I decided to come up with a joke that had the word “respect” in it. The first one I wrote was: “I get no respect. When I was a kid, I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn’t even look for me.”

I was working a place in Greenwich Village, Upstairs at the Duplex, when I first did that joke, and the crowd loved it. After the show, people came up to me and said things like, “Hey, Rodney, me, too—no respect.”

So I kept writing jokes off that line—“I don’t get no respect”—and it caught on more and more. Now I have probably written over five hundred “no respect” jokes. Here are a few of my early ones:

With my old man, I never got respect. I asked him if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me to wait till it gets warmer.

And the first time he put me on the roller coaster, he told me to stand up straight.

With girls, I don’t get no respect. I went out with a belly dancer. She told me I turned her stomach.

When I was a kid, my yo-yo, it never came back.

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